PapierblogDigital.Fashion

Kate Moss is lucky she’s not a politician. Her truth telling ways has done a number on her career. First H&M had her back. Then it got a little hot so H&M backed off. Burberry didn’t second guess their position, they just dropped her. Coco Chanel roled over in her grave twice and turned her back on Moss. All she had to do was say that it wasn’t her on camera doing lines in a studio. R. Kelly got away with it…multiple times.

And now we hear that the Church of Scientology has chimed in to help alleviate her pocketbo..problem.

The thing I don’t get is why celebrities always manage to screw up…bad. From Hugh Grant, to the aformentioned R. Kelly to Kate Moss. Someone should write a celebrity handbook on not screwing up.

In said handbook would be a laundry list of things not to do. For example:

1. Never videotape yourself having sex with anyone…ever (see Rob Lowe, Jamie Fox, R. Kelly, Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton etc)

2. Never do lines of coke in front of anyone… (see Kate Moss. etc)

3. Never have sex with someone unless they can say yes on camera, audiotape, etc and sign a notarized waiver saying it is all consensual. If you really want to cover your hide, make sure another party is present before you engage in the act. (see Mike Tyson, Kobe Bryant)

4. Never attempt to have your pregnant baby mutha killed. Especially if you are a football player and play for the Cowboys or the Ravens. (See Rae Carruth)

5. Never have your baby mutha killed over dinner then say (in your defense, as a location alibi) that you left as she was getting killed because you forgot your gun somewhere.

6. Never call a co-worker when you are drunk to proposition the co-worker for sex. And if you do decide to call the co-worker (or anyone) for that matter, don’t leave a message on the answering machine.

7. Never show up late for court.

8. Never proposition a child with Jesus Juice

9. Never sleep with the nanny.

10. Never escape in a Ford Bronco…anywhere.

-Eva