There are tons of blog where you can get your Project Runway fix. The internet is littered with them and the carcasses of the ones that died in season 1. It’s a bit of an obsession at this point for some. I dread watching it and outside of my first review, I doubt I would ever make it a part of my normal viewing habits. I’m ashamed to say I have viewing habits at all. Never the less, I am here playing Monday morning quarterback on a show that is as vapid and empty as a room filled with aspiring models.

Why did Carmen Lose

Carmen lost not because she was particularly awful. Most of what was designed this show was extremely forgettable. Even the winner’s design was badly bland. Wide stripes with skinny stripes? The show was about diminishing returns and the judges ended up picking the best of the worst.

Carmen lost because she designed nothing. What’s worse than designing nothing though is that nothing got really bad really fast. Did she really expect legendary running back Tiki Barber to come out in what was “supposed” to be a shirt? The zipper on the pant was ridiculously high, the jacket/sportscoat/thing made absolutely no sense except to cover the shirt that was never there. It was amateur hour at it’s finest. I took some sewing classes and I was very bad at it, on my best day I could have put together what Carmen created for this show. That’s saying a lot considering I once stitched together a shirt asymmetrical sleeves that ended up being 8 inches in difference. That’s also considering that Carmen has got be a thousand times better than I ever was.

How Carmen could have Won

Let’s say we could press the rewind button and start from scratch. With a $150 budget, Carmen could have purchased enough fabric to put a pair of dark pants, a dark t-shirt and the simplest sports coat money could buy. This is Monday morning quarterback and my job is very easy because I don’t have the pressure of being on a TV show, wanting to not lose, being given 12 or so hours to create something from scratch and facing Michael Kors at the end of the show. Even without the sports coat a long sleeve dark t-shirt would have helped the cause. Were you Carmen, what would you have done differently?

Loathe as we are to give the show any more ink (or pixels as it were), it’s almost unavoidable. Project Runway mania hit the internet yesterday and today. The show finally aired last night with much fanfare. I went with our publisher yesterday to the New York Magazine screening of the show and the first thing he said was and I quote “I’ve never seen so many attractive women at bar. This is where single men who have done good in their lives go when they die.” Then the show started, the women started talking and he said, “I take that back, can we leave now?” His apparent distaste was for the show itself and the reaction from the 90% female crowd. My immediate question was, what did you expect? You’re going to a Project Runway screening. This is not a superbowl party (thank god).

So let’s get to it. I have to agree with Tim Gunn who said at the beginning, this group seems to be the most talented group since the show’s start. The group also seems to be somewhat boring. Keep in mind I am saying this after only one show. Everything can turn on a dime. Here’s a quick look at the contestants and their performance:

Carmen: Carmen looks like she’s going to be around for awhile. If there’s going to be drama, Carmen looks like she’s going to be at the center of it. Her designs are right at the center of the bell curve. There’s no compelling reason for her to be kicked out early. The conspiracy theorist in me believes that Carmen will stick around because of the “what happens with her next” ratings factor.

Chris: This guy is so loveable. When he went running for the garments at Bryant Park the attendees at the New York Mag event gave a collective awww and when he said that he got the garments that he wanted they all cheered. He’s another middle of the road designer.

Christian: If Carmen is the center of drama, Christian is the red glowing bullseye. He’s the case of the emperor has no clothes. I wanted to puke when I saw what he put together. But the judges loved it, go figure.

Elisa: The girl with the everything train on a dress just lost me when she went to sleep. I agreed with the judges though, her design was one of the worst, but also showed the most promise.

Jack: His dress was gorgeous, if he sticks around and gets better, watch out.

Jillian: She created something out of the 80s, I swear her dress belonged in Dirty Dancing.

Kevin: The lone straight male designer (I think) out of the whole cast, who made it a point to highlight that, will probably be out very quickly. His design just seemed very blah.

Kit: Kit Pistol looks like she’s out of ammo. Her dress was just as blah as Kevin’s.

Marion: Marion’s dress was a mess. I wince watching this guy.

Rami: Rami’s dress was simply gorgeous. It was so beautiful. As soon as I looked at it, in comparision to all the others, I knew he had was miles ahead. My early money is on Rami. But don’t go to Vegas and use my pick, I’ve been wrong before (just not often).

Ricky: This guy is gone within the next 5 shows. Ugh.

Simone: Our publisher is in love with Simone. He’s already putting feelers out to see if she’s already married. I on the other hand, saw a train wreck. Her dress was too simple and the color was just off.

Steve: He is so cute. But cute will only get you so far. His business suit was probably the most staid item, but at the same time personally it was a favorite. I loved it. Behind Rami, he’s one to look out for.

Sweet P: I feel silly calling a fashion designer the same name as Popeye’s child. Ridiculous. Her dress looks like something done for Christmas. It was ok. She has a 50/50 chance of being around midway through the season.

Victorya: Victorya is my sleeper pick for top 3. I don’t know why but I see flashes of brilliance in her work.

Carmen, Chris, Christian, Elisa, Jack, Jillian, Kit, Kevin, Marion, Rami, Ricky, Simone, Steven, Sweet P, Victorya. These are the names that will be on our fashion reality tongues for the next couple of months as Project Runway season 4 hits the tube. Now mind you, we haven’t seen one episode yet, but it seems as if Season 4 is a bizarro world version of Season 1. Don’t believe me? Take a look at the photo above and compare. Something fishy is going on. New contestant Carmen looks like a wicked bizarro version of Kara Saun, new contestant Christian looks like a (gasp!) feminine bizarro version of Austin Scarlett, new contestant Jillian looks like an expensive version of Wendy Pepper. The conspiracy theorist in me thinks that this is somehow all too coincidental.

See all the Season 4 contestants here.

With news that Project Runway is currently taping for their new season, I couldn’t pass up this opportunity to create a list of things I want to see on the show this year. I love top 10 lists, but I am strapped for time, so I have put together a top 5 list of things the show should do differently this year. Mind you, I am not a television producer, but some things irked me last season and I really figure Bravo can get super-fantastic (sorry Manolo) ratings if they do a couple of things:

5. An appearance by Tommy Hilfiger. Although his line has seen a resurgence of late, his show, The Cut, failed miserably, and he needs to appear on Project Runway and beg the great Heidi Klum for forgiveness when he attempted to challenge her fashion reality show dominance with another show on network TV. Bravo’s Project Runway ratings trumped CBS’ The Cut ratings hands down. That’s right cable tv beat out network TV. Take that Les Moonves!

4. An early elimination for the black or blond designer. They stretch it out way too long. They normally perform very well on the show and there is no reason that they shouldn’t win. It’s almost a tease. Whenever they end up in the the last three, they lose on some sort of technicality. Honestly, Kara Saun should have won in the 1st season (sorry Jay). So I propose, instead of dragging out the tease, they should eliminate the black designer and/or the blond designer immediately. If you’re blond, you also have a bad deal because will usually get eliminated within the first 3 shows. Or I could be making this whole thing up.

3. The judges need to be slapped. Somewhere in the middle of a critique of one of the aspiring designer’s pieces, the designer should simply step down from the stage and slap any judge that says something woefully wrong about their work. They should then proceed to say, “I’m Rick James, bitch!”

2. More gay romances. They should up the gay romance quotient from 0 to at least 1 this year. Wouldn’t it be something to watch if someone had a crush on Tim Gunn and it was reciprocated? Or maybe inter-aspiring-designer romances. While they are definitely competitors, someone should complicate the situation and fall in love. Then quickly out of love when one of the lovebirds finds out the other has been stealing their interest’s designs.

1. There should be more “motherfucking walk-offs”. These models are getting a free ride simply sauntering down the runway. There should be some sort of fight to walk down the runway in a designer’s piece. No rock paper scissors here. I’m talking Zoolander, underwear pulling, position turning, posturing walk-off.

What’s your list look like? Leave a comment.

This week’s challenge was to take recyclable materials and make an outfit out of them..

Although Michael Knight is my favorite so far, I feel like maybe Jeffrey could have won last night just because if the colors, textures, and that awesome belt. However Michael did win last night and I probably would wear both designer’s creations.

As for the loser Allison, well, I really feel like the judges have their favs and some people get a second chance and some don’t. They attacked her and I’m pretty sure with the ‘dress makes her look like a plus size model comments’ really did a number on the model’s self esteem and helped convince the other judges in the negative.